There’s a lump in my throat, a vise around my chest,
My head is buzzing like a broken machine.
I reach out to grab anything, but something pulls me back,
And the ground beneath my feet begins to split.
I’m scared. Terrified. There isn't enough air,
The silence is heavy, words feel too faint.
I’m not trying to run away from who I am,
Just from what feels impossible to bear.
And yet... a thin thread of light gleams in the dark.
A possible tomorrow I keep stepping toward.
This future both calls to me and suffocates me at once:
I dread it completely, yet it's the reason I survive.
I don't want to fade away into the shadows,
I’m not throwing existence away—
I just want to let go of this crushing weight,
So I can finally, truly live.
A multi-layered Thoughtscape. but as the picture depicts and as your words show, there is a light — you fear it — but it also gives you hope. and that is something to sit with. all those emotions are natural.but cling on to the light and let it bathe you. there is no darkness in light. and like love there is no fear in it either. And know this: the vice around your neck will lift when your future is embraced. burdens never stay heavy they lighten. until theres nothing left that they can anchor to. I feel you.