It's a strange thing, writing about the deepest loneliness and having someone say "so relatable." Part of me is glad the words found you. Part of me is sorry you know that feeling too.
But that's why we write, isn't it? To reach across the void and find out we're not alone in it.
Kedvesem, my heart breaks that you cannot be your truest self at home but I’m so grateful you’ve found your community here.
I found out that my Dad is trans 6 years ago when he was 82. It was simultaneously one of the most wonderful things and painful thing of my life. I was so glad to finally be seeing the true and most joyful part of her and I wanted to weep for all of those years spent in hiding.
Please know I believe in you and am holding you in all of your multitudes in my heart.
Demi, "Kedvesem" – that single word in Hungarian, from you, hit me like a wave. 🥺
Thank you. For seeing me. For holding space for the part of me that has to hide in my own country. For believing in me.
And your father... I don't have words. To come out at 82. To finally, after a lifetime, show your true self to the world. That is both heartbreaking and the most beautiful act of courage I can imagine. I'm so glad she finally got to be seen. And I'm so sorry for all the years she spent in hiding. That's the part that makes me want to weep too.
Thank you for sharing that with me. It's a gift. And I will carry it with me.
I feel held by your words. And I hold you in my heart too. In all of our multitudes. ❤️
Yes and yes! This year I made a conscious decision to “show my soul face out on the world” and have found that once you open yourself, others open to you. The tribe becomes both broader and deeper.
There are people who are looking more deeply and who seek to understand with compassion. Those are my people and yours clearly.
It is a form of love and care that expands with practice.
"Yes and yes!" – that's exactly how it felt when I started opening up. Last September, I made the same conscious decision. To stop hiding. To show my soul face out on the world. And you're right: once you open yourself, others open to you. The tribe becomes both broader and deeper.
I've met incredible people since then. You. Prachit. Moenier. Waz-1. Tyler. So many others. This Substack community – the writers and the readers – you are all extraordinary. Impossibly kind. Impossibly loving. I never knew strangers could care this much.
And that's why I write in English.
I live in Hungary. Here, I would never have a chance as a Queer writer. Today is Pride in Budapest, and the hatred that so many Hungarians carry toward "our kind" is terrifying. I am afraid to live in this country. Our former government spent 16 years preaching hatred, and the poison is still in the soil.
But this community? This is my home now. You are my home.
Thank you for seeing me. For being part of my tribe. Namaste – in the truest sense of the word. 🙏❤️
Waz-1, ces emojis disent exactement ce qui est difficile à exprimer avec des mots. 🥹🤗😔❤️
Le poème parle de la solitude, mais ta réaction me rappelle que les mots peuvent encore franchir la distance. Que quand quelqu'un lit ce que j'écris et en ressent quelque chose – alors je ne suis plus complètement seul.
Merci de l'avoir lu et d'avoir partagé cette émotion. 🖤
Tu as écrit dans ce texte et dans cette réponse tout ce que je ressens à la lecture de ce poème sans pour autant savoir l'exprimer. Tu as bien compris ce que signifie ces 3 emojis
Ce que tu écris est exactement ce que j'espère chaque fois que je pose des mots sur une page : que quelqu'un les lise et se reconnaisse dedans. Que les émotions que je n'arrive pas toujours à nommer trouvent un écho chez quelqu'un d'autre.
Ces trois emojis – 🥹🤗😔❤️ – ils racontent toute une histoire. La tristesse, le besoin d'être tenu, la douleur silencieuse, et malgré tout, l'amour qui reste. Je suis content de les avoir compris.
Merci d'avoir lu, d'avoir ressenti, et d'avoir partagé. Ça signifie plus que tu ne le penses. 🤗❤️
Thank you, Moenier! 😻 That means so much. Poetry like this comes from a deep, dark place, and knowing it resonated with you makes it worth putting into words. 💚🩷💜
"Emotional intelligence" – that might be the kindest thing anyone has said about this poem. Because that's exactly what it takes to write about loneliness: the ability to feel it deeply enough to put it into words, and the hope that someone else will feel it too.
So relatable!
Demmi, thank you. 🙏
It's a strange thing, writing about the deepest loneliness and having someone say "so relatable." Part of me is glad the words found you. Part of me is sorry you know that feeling too.
But that's why we write, isn't it? To reach across the void and find out we're not alone in it.
Thank you for reading. 🖤
Oh Arden,
Kedvesem, my heart breaks that you cannot be your truest self at home but I’m so grateful you’ve found your community here.
I found out that my Dad is trans 6 years ago when he was 82. It was simultaneously one of the most wonderful things and painful thing of my life. I was so glad to finally be seeing the true and most joyful part of her and I wanted to weep for all of those years spent in hiding.
Please know I believe in you and am holding you in all of your multitudes in my heart.
❤️
Demi
Demi, "Kedvesem" – that single word in Hungarian, from you, hit me like a wave. 🥺
Thank you. For seeing me. For holding space for the part of me that has to hide in my own country. For believing in me.
And your father... I don't have words. To come out at 82. To finally, after a lifetime, show your true self to the world. That is both heartbreaking and the most beautiful act of courage I can imagine. I'm so glad she finally got to be seen. And I'm so sorry for all the years she spent in hiding. That's the part that makes me want to weep too.
Thank you for sharing that with me. It's a gift. And I will carry it with me.
I feel held by your words. And I hold you in my heart too. In all of our multitudes. ❤️
Arden,
Yes and yes! This year I made a conscious decision to “show my soul face out on the world” and have found that once you open yourself, others open to you. The tribe becomes both broader and deeper.
There are people who are looking more deeply and who seek to understand with compassion. Those are my people and yours clearly.
It is a form of love and care that expands with practice.
Namaste in the truest sense of the word,
Demi
Demi, your words hit me right in the chest. 🥺
"Yes and yes!" – that's exactly how it felt when I started opening up. Last September, I made the same conscious decision. To stop hiding. To show my soul face out on the world. And you're right: once you open yourself, others open to you. The tribe becomes both broader and deeper.
I've met incredible people since then. You. Prachit. Moenier. Waz-1. Tyler. So many others. This Substack community – the writers and the readers – you are all extraordinary. Impossibly kind. Impossibly loving. I never knew strangers could care this much.
And that's why I write in English.
I live in Hungary. Here, I would never have a chance as a Queer writer. Today is Pride in Budapest, and the hatred that so many Hungarians carry toward "our kind" is terrifying. I am afraid to live in this country. Our former government spent 16 years preaching hatred, and the poison is still in the soil.
But this community? This is my home now. You are my home.
Thank you for seeing me. For being part of my tribe. Namaste – in the truest sense of the word. 🙏❤️
🥹🤗😔❤️
Waz-1, ces emojis disent exactement ce qui est difficile à exprimer avec des mots. 🥹🤗😔❤️
Le poème parle de la solitude, mais ta réaction me rappelle que les mots peuvent encore franchir la distance. Que quand quelqu'un lit ce que j'écris et en ressent quelque chose – alors je ne suis plus complètement seul.
Merci de l'avoir lu et d'avoir partagé cette émotion. 🖤
~ Arden
Tu as écrit dans ce texte et dans cette réponse tout ce que je ressens à la lecture de ce poème sans pour autant savoir l'exprimer. Tu as bien compris ce que signifie ces 3 emojis
Waz-1, merci du fond du cœur. 🖤
Ce que tu écris est exactement ce que j'espère chaque fois que je pose des mots sur une page : que quelqu'un les lise et se reconnaisse dedans. Que les émotions que je n'arrive pas toujours à nommer trouvent un écho chez quelqu'un d'autre.
Ces trois emojis – 🥹🤗😔❤️ – ils racontent toute une histoire. La tristesse, le besoin d'être tenu, la douleur silencieuse, et malgré tout, l'amour qui reste. Je suis content de les avoir compris.
Merci d'avoir lu, d'avoir ressenti, et d'avoir partagé. Ça signifie plus que tu ne le penses. 🤗❤️
Love it, 😻
Thank you, Moenier! 😻 That means so much. Poetry like this comes from a deep, dark place, and knowing it resonated with you makes it worth putting into words. 💚🩷💜
Man 🏳️🌈, emotional intelligence comes to mind. 💞💜💞
Moenier, thank you. 🏳️🌈 💜🩷💚
"Emotional intelligence" – that might be the kindest thing anyone has said about this poem. Because that's exactly what it takes to write about loneliness: the ability to feel it deeply enough to put it into words, and the hope that someone else will feel it too.
Thank you for seeing that. And for being here. 🖤
~ Arden